What I wrote to Caleb

Where was I? Having my 4th serious allergic reaction in the ER. My psych meds have been messed up for weeks. I’m facing ect. I was alone and upset and frustrated and feeling unloved. I didn’t know why I had anaphylaxis over and over. I cried all day today thinking you hated me and I’d never hear from you again. That’s just a fact not anything to do with guilt. So now I know I’m allergic to purple food dyes. I hate the hospital and had a male nurse come comfort me because I’m 52 sitting in the ER hallway and can’t stop crying in public. I don’t react well when people are mad at me. I think they’ll hate me forever and I get scared.