I think I am in a state of shell shock... My life has been one long tragedy of many tragic stories, coupled with amazing highs from having many incredible life experiences and travels.

I've lost many people in my life who have died, including an ex fiance who committed suicide three years after we had broken up.

I am definitely shell shocked.. I should not be alive. I should have offed myself by now. I don't know how I am even still standing or functioning, or even smiling cheerfully.

And I don't have a therapist. I cannot bring myself to try that route yet again, to only end in failure. I could never find a good therapist.

I am truly on my own, except for God. God is the only answer for me... I wouldn't be alive or surviving had it not been for divine intervention in all of the above tragic circumstances.