I'm in a cycle of restricting (yeah, restricting, I'm not going to even bother claiming "low appetite" because if I probably could eat), but then saying "oh, that's unhealthy" and smoking weed to make eating easier, and then feeling guilty about eating too much (although it's not true binging) and purging.
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"I don't know what I'm looking for."
"Why not?"
"Because...because...I think it might be because if I knew I wouldn't be able to look for them."
"What, are you crazy?"
"It's a possibility I haven't ruled out yet,"
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