Hey,

Whatever your situation is, looking after yourself matters.

- What things give YOU self-fulfillment? I like progressing in exercise and learning new things for mechanical work. I like listening to some paranormal and true crime stuff to give me the heebeejeebies. Have something you can look forward too each week and do that. You can even make yourself earn it. "Once I get this garage cleaned out, I'm going to sit and watch some Mrballen on YouTube."

- Doing this also makes it easier to be alone. I'm at a point now where I look forward to these things. I wish I had someone to share them with, but I'm not giving up my stuff to fit in with anyone again.

- Have some expectations of the people in your life. I have a ton of extended family, and I put myself out emotionally for years asking for us to get together, connect, whatever. Then, for each of them, I sent them a positive message, "I think you're really awesome and I really enjoy when we can connect." And then I stopped trying. The people who tried back, I remain in contact with. The others; maybe they're busy, maybe they have people closer to them that require their time and energy. But I started investing in people who gave me a return on my investment.

You sound like a smart, interesting guy. You sound like someone who used to have things that gave him fullfillment, like your music. Maybe start exploring that again.

YOU being healthier and more complete will make your relationships healthier.

What if cutman2000 was your best friend? What would you do to show care and concern for him? What things would you encourage him to do? Maybe thinking like you are your own best friend and will help you start making some progress.