I don't have much faith in Dr's anymore either, there are some doctors that just shouldn't be doctors. I hate my husbands doctor, for reasons I won't boar you with. I lost my Dad six years ago he was only 49 I was just 26, I still cry for him. I enjoy the good cry. I close my eyes and I listen to the songs he use to play and just cry. I feel likes he's with me when I listen to the music, I feel him in my heart and soul. I know that sounds corny but it's how I cope, it's how I visit him. Sometimes I hold his bible close to me and read the notes he scribbled down. This also helps me deal with his early death. My thoughts are with you.