Thank you all for sharing your respective processes.

LT - those ideas make sense.
I've never seen a large version of clear rubbish bags, but they must exist.

R was going to provide the plate, and I think we were thinking dinner plate (as a sufficient canvas)

@CANDC - You make a good point about emotional expression. It takes a lot to get me to the point of outwardly expressing my feelings.

Five months ago, everything I thought I 'knew' about Steve's death was upended.

It's quite something to go through a whole new depth of processing three years into an experience.

Artley - I'm so sorry for your loss. You make a good point about being deprived of the usual rituals.

One of my first thoughts when I got the news was 'I wonder whether they'll stream part of the funeral?' and the fact that I was even thinking like that made me feel sick.

They didn't, as far as I know.

The relationship between confusion and pain and anger is a chicken or the egg situation for me.

Mindfulness practices are useful in getting some distance, but staying in that state is hard.