I'm sorry you fell mental illness has robbed you of years. I've felt the same way. I feel like I lost decades due to mental health issues. But I feel there is hope. For me with a lot of therapy and treatment and the right meds combination I did get better. I'm now working again and feel pretty happy most of the time. If you haven't done one before, I highly recommend doing a Wellness Recovery Action Plan (WRAP), In the US many states offer that program. I found it to be a super helpful step in my recovery.