@NovaBlaze yes it is a very tough time of year for many people.. and once again, I feel I am facing too much in my life at this time of year to truly feel happy or joyful.

Being alone is very palpable right now, and I am feeling a bit sorry for myself, in addition to work crap going on.

This is the longest I've gone in my whole life without a relationship - almost one full year. I keep thinking about my ex husband, mainly because he was the last long-term relationship I had.

I am deeply struggling with all that's going on with my boss, and her boss, at work - I am feeling like they don't want me to shine or be successful in my role.

For example, I've been working for 3 months on developing an Executive Marketing Report to present to a team of marketing executives in charge of decision-making when it comes to the website experience.

Initially, me, my boss, and my boss's boss agreed to include the results of my work to demonstrate the direct and positive impact my work is having on website traffic and revenue.

Now, my boss's boss is talking about excluding all performance data - in one of our last conversations, he mentioned the possibility of only highlighting what will be important for the leadership team to focus on in the upcoming quarter.

I am trying to support the case for keeping the performance data to demonstrate that the work I do is valuable and impactful.

The reason being - the work I do in the company is largely unknown, unseen, not understood, and therefore, is not taken into consideration when leadership and other teams are making decisions about new web pages or campaigns on the website.

In my opinion, showcasing the results of my work will only help the leadership team to see its value. My goal is to have them see the value and therefore, see that it's important to incorporate it into website designs.

The only way I see to get this to work is to educate and inform leadership, and I don't understand WHY ALL performance data would NOT be included in this report to demonstrate the value of the work I do.

As a result, I am feeling like my boss and my boss's boss don't want me to shine in front of leadership - and that somehow, me and my work are being sabotaged and pushed out. Maybe I am paranoid, but this is what it feels like what is happening.

I also had to spend 13 hours with my marketing team the other day, and man, did I feel left out and all alone. I am the only one in the company doing the work that I do - and most of my team are in their 20's and 30's. I am 54. So I stick out like a sore thumb and felt really isolated and alone during an all day, all night conference with my team. I think I may suffer from ageism there - like secretly people look down on me because I'm older and apart from the rest of the team.

Yes, I will spend some time with family over Christmas, but otherwise, I am all alone dealing with this. And it's an awful, awful feeling. I just want to crawl under my covers and hide until after Valentines Day in February.

Sorry for the novel in response. I am just very despondent about work issues and relationships right now and am feeling it deeply.