Even if you don't want to be friends with yourself, is it possible to find a place of compassion for yourself? As though you were at a distance from yourself, and can see how much you've been through? Perhaps make an effort to care and nurture the person you now see- the person who's been through trauma and needs caring and support? Maybe you can give that kind of understanding and care to yourself, even for a short time? It could be a step in the right direction.