I'd trade in my childhood for "normal" or whatever (does that even exist? I know literally no one who didn't have something that a therapist would count as "trauma") over trading in the bipolar, too. Hell, if I wasn't raised in a building of randos using meth and heroin and whatever and taught substances were a good solution and had experiences were I saw and felt a healthy "love" maybe the bipolar symptoms wouldn't be as severe and hard to handle. Maybe I wouldn't have cried in a diner after seeing a stranger with brown hair and a beard today! But oh-fking-well, I got what I got, I'm just gonna make sure I don't have babies to make them take the wheel so I can hold a pipe and a lighter while driving. I saw a drunk driver run a red into another car yesterday.