Hi all,
I just wanted to ask more about the recent article on friendship. I think Marie Hartwell-Walker makes a lot of good points, but one thing I didn't understand is this: how do you understand when you have made enough effort with a friend? Say in the situation of Judy, who gives friends three strikes, and if they don't reciprocate, she gives up on them. I tend to be a bit like this because I don't know how else to estimate (apart from reciprocity) whether the friend likes me or not.

I had this situation recently: a work colleague and I worked on the same project quite closely for about six months, and we got (i felt) to be quite good friends. She left to have a baby, but promised to keep in touch, though she said she had a really busy schedule. I contacted her and we had lunch a few times, which I really enjoyed, before the baby was born, but since then whenever I've contacted her she always seems to be busy. Now the family are leaving for a faraway country, and she had a farewell lunch with a group of us where she prommised to keep in touch etc, but I'm scared she's not interested.

For me if something is important enough to me I will do anything to achieve it, but then again I am a very determined person. I don't have any children myself (i'm younger) and so I don't know how to tell if I am being a nuisance- ie is she really busy or is it just an excuse? I've never heard anyone say "look, stop callling me, I don't want to see you any more!" so how do you know where the limit is? I really like her and miss her but I don't know how to guage how she feels, and I don't want to be that annoying person who never gets the message....
Any thoughts?
thanks!!

http://psychcentral.com/lib/2008/fai...iendships?pp=2