Thanks @Blue_Bird! That means a lot :-)

We're here for you @HALLIEBETH87



Only one more day till break! As hard as it will be in some ways, I am also very ready. A sad part about tomorrow is one long term sub is finishing up her time (another one takes over after the break). The teacher who's done long term subbing tomorrow will still be around to sub here and there so that's good. She's great and the kids love her.

I've been thinking about a couple of things: to much of my perceived self worth is connected to what my students and coworkers think of me and I think I'm addicted to emotional pain (I find myself wanting something bad to happen but also fearing something bad will happen at the same time-it's weird). Tying in to the trauma conversation that happened on here, I think I feel safer in the distress because of how much of my life I've spent in it. These would both be great things to explore in counseling if I was still going. I need to focus on my physical health a little more yet, but I'm already thinking it might be nice to start counseling again in the summer (but, with a different counselor than last time).

I'm feeling a little pre-hypomanic right now-I've got a nice little emotional high that makes me crave more. Hopefully, this won't make it hard for me to fall asleep tonight because I'm going to bed soon but I feel wide awake (normally, I'm practically falling asleep at the table by this point of the night). I'm sure it will pass.