Hi all.
My mother in law issues continue. I have tried to make this post as short as possible but I’m in urgent need of advice and support because I am at a breaking point. I would truly appreciate it if you could give this a read and please be honest, even if what you have to advise is not in my favour or you think I might not like to hear it. I need brutal honesty right now. Thank you and love you all ❤️

To give some background, my partner and I moved out of our rental due to excessive rental increase and decided to save up for a home. So he asked his mother if we could live with her while we save up. She was more than happy to. We had some prior conflict where she would not want me around when his daughter came to visit insisting I shouldn’t be there, and other things.

Fast forward to September 2024…. She happily agreed to let me and her son stay with her. She sat me down and apologised for treating me bad in the past and now she wants to start afresh and have a good time with me. We baked, cooked, watched movies and it was all fine. At times I would go stay with my parents too because why not.

Then she started ignoring my text messages, brought up how last year when she came to visit and no one answered the door that I did that on purpose to her. She also had a disagreement with her son where she started crying and left the home. I consoled her and stood up for her.

Two days ago I was cooking for my partner and she walks in (he had left for work), and she stops and her face drops and in a displeased tone said “oh. You are here. You’re still here. Okay.” And immediately I get a flashback to some years back where she treated me the exact way. I sat down with her and asked her what is wrong and she said she needed peace and her space. She has been divorced and living alone for awhile so to a degree I can understand with the whole getting in her space. On the weekend I woke up late and walked downstairs and my partner and his mother were chatting and she comments “oh sorry we like, forgot about you”, not in a remorseful tone but more enjoying the fact that I looked upset that my partner was downstairs for so long (usually we have a few hugs in bed etc, but he didn’t want to disturb me this time). And also joked “ohh you might leave him” and I said “definitely not” and she said “oh we’ll see…”

Today I brought some chocolates and put it in the fridge and she said “we cannot eat chocolates, right son?” Referring to her son. Whereas before, she would embrace whatever I bring and give her. Mind you, her pantry is full of chocolate. She hints at me to go back to my parents by saying things like “and you will go to your home and spend a lovely time with your parents”. It’s dismissive, hurtful and passive aggressive. I would prefer if she were honest with me and said I don’t want you here it’s best you go stay with your parents.

But what anger’s and upsets me more is I’ve really tried to help the woman, washing dishes before she gets home, folding towels, putting dishes away, sometimes making a meal for her son so she doesn’t have to (I love cooking) and being there for her to chat to. I always put her first before me. And I’m really upset she’s treating this way.

If I tell my partner he will be upset because he wants nothing more than for us to get along. He’s also stressed about work and tired and I don’t want to trouble him.

The petty me was thinking **** it just continue living there, be in her space, don’t give a crap, be there when his daughter is there knowing it will drive her nuts because I’m sick of being pushed around and being the target of malicious female behaviour when I’ve done nothing to warrant that. We’re also trying to build a life together with his daughter included and I’m trying to build a stronger relationship with her so how does it help that occur if I’m not to be around when his daughter is there??

The other option is go back to my parents and see my partner every other day, but am I really going to allow this woman to come in between my partner and I by trying to drive me away from living with him? I always miss him and cherish every moment with him and to go from living together, waking up together, every night every day for 3 years in a row to seeing him once or twice a week is soul crushing.

Thank you thank you for reading about my sorrows ❤️❤️❤️