I am not sure what you would like advice about. She won't change and it *is* her house.
If you and your partner want to stay at her house, then you will (both) have to adapt to her. And yes, you can either give her the satisfaction to decamp to your parents' place and see your partner every other day *or* put up with her until you decide to move out. That decision is yours to make.
The best would be for you guys to find another place and leave asap. Is it worth living like this just to save up for a home? How long would it take to save enough? Are there no other alternatives than staying with her?
One thing you need to remember is that staying with her is a choice. Choice you both willingly are making. You are not forced to live with her.
Regarding what you say:
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I would prefer if she were honest with me and said I don’t want you here it’s best you go stay with your parents.
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Well, she *is* being honest. Her words and actions clearly seem to indicate that she does not want you here. There is not much doubt from what you write of your interactions with her.
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But what anger’s and upsets me more is I’ve really tried to help the woman, washing dishes before she gets home, folding towels, putting dishes away, sometimes making a meal for her son so she doesn’t have to (I love cooking) and being there for her to chat to. I always put her first before me.
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It is unfortunate that she is not appreciating your efforts and in this respect, your anger is valid.
HOWEVER, always putting her first is on you. This reflects poor boundaries on your part and the anger you experience here is misdirected. You ought to be angry at yourself for continually putting yourself last. It is okay to be polite and helpful but when it is to your detriment, then you are the one doing harm to yourself.
Only you know how unlivable this situation is. I would say, re-assess with your partner if saving up for a home is worth living like this. IF you do decide it is worth it and you want to stay with her, then you are the one who will have to change and accept her as she is, because she is letting you stay at her house rent-free, after all. Be polite but distant and stop putting other people first.