Today was a bad day. I haven't even gotten dressed or eaten anything but some cereal. It's like I can't move. I know that's really a choice, because I can move. I just don't.

I'm alone too much. Last eve I had a long talk with someone by phone - kind of a newish friend. It felt good. But I felt unsettled afterwards. Slept good. But today I don't care about anything. I just read and look at videos.

My big, overarching sense is that I have nothing to look forward to . . . that I'll be mostly alone for the remainder of my life.