I am moving forward within my capabilities. This may sound obscure but I moved into my kitchen. I can't afford to leave right now and there is no other space in the house for me. But hey, it is an improvement. I have my own space and I am now in control of my surroundings. I don't have to be in his space of negativity. I can do whatever I please. Watch what I want, listen to what I want, turn out the lights when I want. I am sleeping on a couch, but it is better for me with my medical condition. Aaaand, now I feel enabled to invite my sister in on my side of the house. Yeah, wow, but a reeeaaally long story there. I enjoy my time and no-one looking over my shoulder. Although he is nosy, finds reasons to be in my business. I feel freer, and I definitely don't have to worry about him trying to look at my computer. You know, eventually I can have my own place, every step count. I still mourn our relationship, bu t it has become less and less. I am finding the strength in myself and moving my way back to being me. so what, what he thinks, no more controlling me. I don't worry anymore what he believes is going on in my life, so false in his ideas. I didn't think there was a me without him. That I could be happy away from him. Now I want to be individual, with all my own thoughts and activities. Never will I be bound to someone again. My life is just for me living.