@Frog4Life it is scary and I don't know what kind of clinic I could go to honestly I'm in Connecticut. Everything is so expensive I have my current meds but I feel not well most of the time. on the verge of panic and rage. thank you for understanding

@MuddyBoots I have a bill of about 800 racked up and they won't let me schedule a sooner appointment or even send my provider a message without paying. she told me to settle my balance and I wanted to lose my ****. I just saw my provider for like five minutes the week before and I wasn't honest so he didn't change anything. I need to be on a mood stabilizer and I asked for that a year ish ago when I started seeing him and he put me on antipsychotics instead. I want to go back on lamictal or go through with his suggestion of lithium. I'm in so much debt but I mostly have a handle on it. closed credit cards and am doing debt management through green path. I honestly would probably add it to my green path account and pay it off weekly very slowly. but I do have insurance which I'm grateful for. I'm doing a little better today than last night I have an appointment with a new pdoc tonight online I really hope this goes well because then I can reevaluate. sorry for the long winded ramble. thank you for that offer though. I don't know if there any way I can seek an alternative program without going to the er. I don't have a primary I can contact right now unfortunately.

so i hope this appointment goes well tonight
thank you both