Quote:
Originally Posted by lowselfesteem92
Hi! Thank you for your reply. Your response did not address my issues and concerns. My partner and I did live together for 3 years before our rental cost increased by so much, that it couldn’t be justified as rent, and we would rather use that money for our own mortgage. , so we then decided to move in with his mum to save up for our own place. We are not dependent on his mother or my family, as we both work full time and he pays for her bills and I have my own set of bills to pay for. Thank you for your opinion on my relationship, but it was not what I asked for. People’s opinions on relationships differ widely and therefore in this context is entirely useless to me.
|
I don’t have opinion on your relationship. Relationship itself is not a concern.
The concern is that you can’t afford living independently as a couple. You are not independent. You depend on his mother for providing roof above your head and providing opportunity in saving for the house. That’s not independence. It doesn’t matter how long you two lived together. You can’t call it independence.
Now it’s not nice that the mother is cold or rude but it’s obvious that she doesn’t want you there. She probably thought it was ok and that’s why she was happy at the start. It’s very difficult to have people living in your house so she had enough and sends you messages that she prefers you leave.
Would it be better if she spelled it out? Yes. But you can’t change who she is. She isn’t direct. It’s not good but you can’t change her. Honestly many people would allow adult children to stay with them if they fall on hard times, but not many would be ok if they brought their boyfriends/girlfriends to live there. It’s too much
What should you do? How should you handle it?
You have three options n my opinion. Since she wants her space and it is her house, give her space. As someone else says she doesn’t owe you room and board. Leave and stay elsewhere. If you can’t afford your own place, stay with your own family.
Second option. You both leave and live independently or maybe with roommates. But not with parents
Third option is to stay at your boyfriends mom and endure her coldness.. Put up with the mother, stay out of her way. Be cordial. Too stressful if you ask me, but you said you cant handle not seeing your boyfriend every day, so I guess this is your only option if he won’t agree to a second option
Changing how his mom handles things in her own house or how she behaves etc isn’t an option.