I have been married for 19 years, and have 1 child aged 9.

My wife decided to start a catering business about 12 months ago which has been consuming our lives. We both work full time and do the catering on the weekends.

We can’t quite afford a food truck at this time so we pull a 10’ trailer and set up tents and cook,
Rain or shine, we spend around 8-12 hours at these events and many late nights Thursdays and Fridays prepping. A day or so shopping.

And for the past 11 months the only time we’ve not done an event was when we were sick.

The whole thing was my wife’s dream, but not mine. I have sacrificed so much time on her business, and I’m feeling so burned out.
The prep work makes so much mess in our home, and my wife has no time to help with chores around the house, we don’t get to spend time with our child, and they are often left at home all day alone during the weekends.

The business has overtaken the house, commercial appliances take up the kitchen. The garage is full of storage totes. Three refrigerators.
It is so full that you can barely walk through it.

My wife gets a lot of validation from her customers which is nice to see, but she is becoming addicted to that validation. So much so that it’s all she really talks about.

Our home is trashed from cooking and preparing commercial quantities of food.

At the end of summer she said that we would give it a break for the Christmas period.
Unfortunately that promise was not kept as she’s now started selling food out of the house.
Asking that I deliver it when I get off work.
I made 20 deliveries on one evening.
She has even committed to doing catering now on Christmas Eve. New Year’s Eve.
We have 15-20 people knocking on the door picking up their food.
And because she has been so popular I often will help otherwise she sinks and struggles to handle the demand.

Am I a bad person because I don’t want to do this anymore? I want to have weekends where I can relax, take my kid out.
Earlier in the year I took my kid out for the day, and my wife later expressed frustration that I had done it when she needed my help. Why didn’t you schedule that for later in the day she said.

This really pissed me off, our child is my priority.
Another time my friends asked me to play golf. I went out for about 4 hours to play golf.

While out I received messages saying “ I know that you are trying to maintain friendships but I need help” help with the business she means.

I feel so frustrated, she makes out to her family that I’m not supportive. And tells me that they say that I’m not supportive.

I’m not sure how much of this situation I can tolerate, I just don’t have anyone to talk to about it, and if I bring it up with her she has basically told me if this is not what I want then we should separate.
We don’t need the money that she makes from the business, and I personally have not gained financially whatsoever as all of the proceeds of the business go into a business account that I don’t have access to.
Appreciate your feedback, and thank you.