Talk to a lawyer. Decide what is truly important to you - are these material possessions that cannot be replaced? Talking to a lawyer is paramount because he or she will know the state laws and this is what they do for a living. Very little will surprise him or her if they have experience. If you don't already have a lawyer, some will do free consultations and for others, you'll have to pay. Perhaps such payment is not something you can conceal from your spouse - am not sure what your financial arrangement is at home.