Thank you all for your replies. It has been tremendously difficult these past few weeks. I can't seem to stop thinking about her no matter how hard I try. Any text conversations with her turns sour with one of us getting upset. A week or so ago she asked if we could read the notebooks together so I could understand them. She is still not home so she did it via video chat on Facebook messenger. That did not go well at all. Pretty much all of it was very obviously about me and she just kept refusing to acknowledge that it was about me, saying instead that it was about her ex, despite talking about me playing my games and such. I told her that I did not believe her and that quickly turned into her screaming like a maniac that I was just recording her and trying to get her to say crazy things on video to prove to the world that she was crazy. Which was in part true, I was recording the video call, just in case we ever come to the point of me needing to show a psychiatrist her behavior. I don't think it will ever come to that, but I stashed the video away just in case anyway. I would never show a soul that video unless that was a chance of getting her the RIGHT help.

Anyway I didn't hear from her for almost a week after that episode, and then she texted me on Monday inviting me to her families Christmas party on Christmas eve. I think deep down she knows I would never do anything to hurt her. I didn't respond to that though. She texted again on Christmas eve wishing me a Merry Christmas, and then again today asking me if I am ok. I haven't responded. I now have her blocked on all social media and everything else except my business phone which I let her take because she has been using it for awhile now. I don't want her to be without a phone.

This is so difficult, especially right now with the holidays, and my financial situation worsening drastically. I just feel like the entire world is against me right now, and nothing at all is going right for me. I have been praying non stop for a break, to no avail thus far.

I just wanted to update you guys on where we are at now, and I am making my best attempt at severing ties with her. Once again I thank you for your advice.