I'm finally going to give in and take an extra 1 mg of risperidone tonight. After yet another night of struggling to sleep, I'm struggling a lot with SI and irritability today. It doesn't help that I have nothing to do so I'm just sitting in it. I ended up canceling my dog shelter shift because my stomach was bothering me and that was the one thing that was going to get me out of the house today. If my stomach feels better (not sick, just had an energy drink to early in the morning-completely my fault), I'll go for a short walk and listen to music.

If my pdoc was in the office on Fridays I'd message him and ask for just two or three 25 mg seroquel pills to help me fall asleep faster until the risperidone can kick in. Because of SI, I shouldn't have more than a few pills on me. I'm safe, just really struggling with these thoughts so having them on hand wouldn't be smart. I also don't typically need them so I don't need a whole bunch of them just sitting around waiting to expire.

I hate that it's only 2 pm here...