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Originally Posted by eskielover
Great points....I found that healing myself took so much work that it left no time for anyone else & getting emotionally involved with anyone else while you are healing & finding yourself again only messes up the process. We MUST know ourself NOT based on someone else but truly KNOW who we are so that we can have a REAL relationship with someone else in the future or like me, realize I am fine with myself & not interested in any more relationships because I like being the one in total control of my life (my marriage issues were mostly his financial irresponsibility) & I don't need to deal with any possibility of that being messed up again.
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Very well said.
I've heard that when someone doesn't go through the process of healing and rebuilding the foundations of themselves, they have a tendency to fall into old, familiar, comfortable patterns- in other words, they'll end up in the same type of relationship dynamic again and again. If the previous relationship wasn't great, then there's healing and work to be done.
If cutman isn't interested in a more serious relationship at this point, and just wants to date casually, find someone to go bowling with, etc, then maybe this doesn't matter quite as much?