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Dec 30, 2024, 08:03 PM
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Member Since: Oct 2004
Location: Kentucky, USA
Posts: 25,077
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ArmorPlate108
Very well said.
I've heard that when someone doesn't go through the process of healing and rebuilding the foundations of themselves, they have a tendency to fall into old, familiar, comfortable patterns- in other words, they'll end up in the same type of relationship dynamic again and again. If the previous relationship wasn't great, then there's healing and work to be done.
If cutman isn't interested in a more serious relationship at this point, and just wants to date casually, find someone to go bowling with, etc, then maybe this doesn't matter quite as much?
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People who "feel" comfortable being co-dependent tend to want to jump into a new relationship so they can use the new person to redevelope thenselves on rather than taking the time to heal & rediscover who they are. That takes work & time & some people take the easy way out & leave their own life truly messed up. It took me 10 years of hard dedicated therapy with an outstanding therapist to work through all I had gone through. I wasted 13 years in therapy before that.
The problem with even casual dating is that there always tend to be demands to do things by the other person. Then just conflict in time starts to build up . Lol....I had a guy in college that was casual dating but he wanted me to commit a month ahead because he wanted everuthing planned & I was busy with college & my studies. So even casual can end up with demands we really need to dedicate time elsewhere. I go out with friends now when I feel like it. My life is on my terms & what works for me. When we establish that, then if someone comes along whose life fits with ours, then we know there is a compatibility of interests & values
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Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this.
Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018
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