"Why don't you call the emergency line more often, Sammy?"

"well, I don't get a call back like the message says I would about 2/3 of the time, and of the remaining 1/3, it's 50/50 on whether I hang up on that phone feeling worse, and sometimes that worse isn't just "worse," sometimes it's "think of the worst torture you can come up with and do that to me" worse.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT? IF EVERYONE ELSE GETS TO BE LOUD AS **** SO WILL I
IM GOING TO PUT ON THE MOST ANNOYING ****ING MUSIC AND PLAY ALONG TO IT.... IN THE WRONG KEY! TURNING ON ALL THE LIGHTS. WILL THERE BE MORE HOLES IN THE WALLS BY MORNING? MAYBE LESS CARPET?

MAYBE I'LL BE IN FMMKKKING PENNSYLVANNIA!!!!!! BECAUSE I KNOW THOSE FKERS ARE AFTER ME!

I don't want to do anything. I am the universe itself, and that is too fking much.. No wonder whatever other fking pilsl left and alcohol didn't kill me because I AM ALCOHOL AND PILLS AND BATH SALTS AND KETAMINE!
Explains sooooooooo fking much.

I don't want to take the new meds. I can't. I can't. I get lost in maze-like buildings easily. I don't want them to leave me. Maybe it'll feel better when it gets closer to 0K