Hi @ rs09 - welcome to MSF. I am sorry your marriage is so unsettling. That must be really disruptive of your life.
You said
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I don’t know what to do. How can I get out of this emotional and mental prison? Should I stay in this marriage for the sake of Z, or should I prioritize my own well-being? I also worry that if X and I split, it could affect Z’s view of love and relationships. But I’m not sure how staying together in this toxic environment will affect Z either.
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There are many questions and they are deeply rooted in your life, the marriage and Z. When a friend had this kind of difficult situation, they turned to a therapist and worked with them to sort things out. As a peer to peer member I am unqualified to tell you what to do and even if I tried I could give you an answer that turned out to be very unsatisfactory. A professional that specializes in relationships has seen these things happen many times and they have the tools to guide you with their wisdom.
I am happy to meet you and hope you get some other responses.
CANDC
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