I agree with Nammu. Get a document in which you list the links to the threads/posts you made when you were unmedicated. When you wanted into treatment.

Next to each link to this forum, write a 2-3 sentence summary of what the post is about. This way, now and in the future, when you consider going off meds hoping to achieve something, some state you find desirable, you can find threads when, unmedicated, you were actually in the opposite state

This method may help you with get out of repeting this cycle. You will see patterns.