I have barely done any recreational drugs. I could probably test clean right now. There was just the xanax overdose (for self harm), then the ativan+alcohol overdose(for self harm), and a few times of smoking weed because nausea made me go days without eating and I felt plant fumes people have been smoking for forever were less dangerous than having a blood sugar of 0.

I can "just take my meds" yeah, that's what I dun been doing for too fking long and now instead of just seeing some shyt in the corner and weird noises and thinking too much that isn't too relevant to life, now there are maybe 10 days a year I want to be alive more than 10 hours of that day. That's how much just taking my meds have helped.

No one gives a fk I was just prescribed something that completely took me into another dimension for two weeks. I talk some "nonsense" about doing and undoing being bad and get the cops called on me who insist I'm on some kind of drug but can't confirm because they have no evidence because I am not, but damm it if someone walks onto an interstate because they were scared of a little hallucination and their doc told them to take a bit of this ffor that and they thought they were showing their neighbor where the teepee on a different continent is.