I'm not a threat to myself or anyone else.

Last night I was hallucinating really bad and texting a friend who called the cops. This morning I made the med nurse angry because I didn't want to take her poison. Last night I was on the floor with a knife and I have a bunch of dots from where I was going to stab myself with (b/t ribs, near the diaphragm, etc.), but I know I won't die as immortals don't. I want to though. I don't want to do this.

I also know, med wise, this is as good as it gets for my bipolar. I haven't been significantly manic since August. The other meds are worse. I don't think IP will help, but people keep saying they want me to go.