I decided to end a second marriage (which I'm quite aware of how much judgement I can receive from society from having "failed" twice). When I go home, am at peace. I no longer have to worry about someone berating me for no good reason and being blamed for things that were not my fault.

I did not imagine myself in this predicament at 45. Yet, here I am alone. Do I feel lonely at times? Actually, I do on occasion. I took off almost two weeks during the holidays and one week into it, i felt lonely. I'm not looking forward to this weekend, because I sort of feel lonely again. I've made some friends at work, and I look forward to seeing them.

I would not think that a 40 year old Asian man who is divorced and with a kid is out of the norm. I know lots of people who are divorced. As for custody being given to the mother, I can tell you I've worked with and was neighbors with men who had several children and they were single fathers. So, in this day and age, I believe that children do not necessarily stay with the mother. Courts do what is best for the child, regardless of whether it is the mother or the father.

I would recommend you seek professional help. Do you have health insurance benefits or benefits through work that can provide counseling or referrals? You could also consult with a divorce attorney.

For my first divorce, it took me several years of being separated before making the decision. The second time around, I knew it was the right choice for me so I was faster to end the marriage.

I know it's not easy. In my opinion, your house ought to be a safe place, where respect, civility, and dignity prevail. I'm so sorry about what you are going through.