Things have been going better of late. My 'relationship' with this woman online continues to develop; she's told me she loves me. We're already starting to make plans to meet. It probably won't happen until June at the earliest due to our conflicting schedules, but at least it gives me something to look forward to. Otherwise, I'm just trying to get some writing done and get through the days on a day-to-day basis. I ordered a stairmaster online, and it just arrived today, I'll have to assemble it in a bit. Overall, this is probably the best I've felt in a long time, even though I'm still not really 'up,' just not as down.

One thing that bothers me in this 'relationship' is that I can't help but let myself fantasize all kinds of ridiculous scenarios, from us meeting all the way up to getting married and having a child together. I don't seriously expect this, and I haven't told her this, but I can't stop myself from thinking about it. I spend a lot of time doing this, whether I'm at work or at home. I shouldn't let my thoughts get so far ahead of me, because I'm just setting myself up for such heartbreak and depression if it doesn't go anywhere or if she breaks it off.