Jesus' saying about his enemies, "they know not what they do", allows me to forgive abusers in my own mind. Forgiveness to me is much more so about letting go of your own rage and anger over the injustice of the abuse and moving towards a stance of acceptance that it happened and that one can still move on and forward in life, regardless. So, forgiveness to me is more about not dwelling in the rage for years upon years. Holding onto bitterness and blame only harms oneself, not the abuser(s). So forgiveness is letting go, accepting (without condoning) that it happened, and moving forward in life, leaving it all behind and in the past.