I’m really sorry to hear about your situation. Life is not easy, is it. It throws some terrible things at us at times. I can imagine your devastation on finding out about this.

I think you need to give yourself time to process this, and not rush into anything. Relationships are complex. Nothing is simple, nothing is black and white, or at least I never see it that way.

Ultimately, you have to think this through, and be comfortable with your decision. As much as others can offer advice, and it’s useful to get a different perspective, this is your life. You need to be happy.

You sound a really grounded individual with a good grasp on your own self-worth and expectations. I think, give yourself time and you will work out the path you want to follow. If your partner isn’t prepared to give you that time, then I think you may have your answer as to whether the relationship is truly sustainable in the long term.

I guess the question is, if you stay within the relationship, will you find that this infidelity continues to haunt you for the rest of your life? If, when you reach your 40th year of being together, you will still feel the pain of this past infidelity, will you regret staying?

I don’t know the statistics, it would be interesting to know, but I wonder how many people make a one-off “mistake” such as this and then go on to be faithful for the rest of their lives with their partner, and how many actually just find it easier to make that mistake again and again!