Appointment with psychiatrist on Monday. Going to ask to try wellbutrin. I made a pros and cons list and the cons in switching were that I'm stable right now (besides some breakthrough symptoms, but that's the light therapy lamp's fault), and that the wellbutrin could end up causing me intolerable anxiety again (but when I was on it before I wasn't on as much gabby and I wasn't on seroquel). The pro list was quite long! My therapist is coming with me to my appointment, so she'll help me remember things I'll probably forget or think aren't important, but actually are.

I was reading that one of the most painful things to experience as a parent is estrangement from your child, and it made me feel really bad because I'm estranged from my parents. I don't want to cause them any pain, but there's like no having a relationship with my mom. There's no communication. There's no mutual respect. She just makes me feel bad and guilty about everything and says I'm selfish, and that my husband is selfish, and some of the things she's said to me are just crazy to me now that I'm a parent! Like when they made me feel guilty for all the money they spent raising me. That's what you DO as a parent! That's so STUPID.

Ugh. Whatever. I don't know what to do.