ughh ANOTHER NIGHT I'M NOT GOING TO GET GOOD SLEEP!!!!

Guess I'll just listen to
My fate or the monster, you know I'm scared
I might be worried and you're not there
But I search for a reason, find the excuse
You know I'm willing and I like the abuse
for the 30th-45th times today

because it's a Head For a Breakdown kinda day

genuinely considering doing things I shouldn't do and not even like an impulsive kind of way. Just a "been wanting to for like four days straight and I don't think people that came up with the idea of 'urge surfing' genuinely believed people--people who's charts are a line of "poor decision making skills, poor impulse control, poor insight, poor judgement..." at that--can surf with so many vulnerability factors at play for that long.

If I look at it this way and get it over with in the next 45 minutes, it'll be "today (1/10/25) was a day of more bad choices instead of two days of (the same amount of) bad choices. Ha, I don't think it works like that because tomorrow I'll probably do some other dumb shyt.

Nah, I got another idea. Not one that's any better really. (I think I'll do both!)

edit: this post was worked on during two separate days I think that's the first time I edited a post on a day it wasn't posted (I did the original stupid thing "yesterday")