I am very sorry. I have PDD and GAD and have had it for 30 years and I was close to my end. It is very rough, but there is always hope.

30 years of nothing but failed med trials and horrific and dangerous side effects. I couldn't try rTMS or ECT because of epilepsy.

I had a fear of death when I tried to sleep which often made sleep impossible

I don't want to sound like a shill, but I am currently doing ketamine infusions. It is as close to a miracle as I have ever experienced. I am not great at handling the dissociative side effects, but am very slowly increasing the dosages and the turnaround is remarkable.

The best part is that it is not a daily pill, so the odds of long-term side effects are very low. Right after, I am a little loopy and wobbly for a few hours but it goes away in a few hours. It has a fast half-life.

I am sleeping like a baby for the first time in decades.

I was even spinning my wheels in therapy, but am making progress now that I am doing this treatment.

During the treatment, I think of all the things that cause me anxiety. I never feel anxious during the sessions and that has helped the anxious thoughts go away.

In my non-medical opinion, it needs to be used earlier and more often. Like two failed medication trials and then you should be evaluated for the treatment. It would save suffering and lives.

If you haven't tried it, see if there is a ketamine clinic in your area and give them a call.