Ah ok. I think I have my own version of doing her job for her. I try and exert a lot of control over the work. For example, I will process a lot of content between sessions in various ways, read related stuff, do creative and somatic stuff, be very clear about what I will discuss in any particular session etc. I think that's all good for me to do, but it does limit things as well. It's like I don't leave room for spontaneity or I limit the relational exploration because so much is happening without her and outside session. It often leaves me asking what is the point of her. I have literally asked her that which I find painful because I don't actually want to be so dismissive of others.