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But IMHO,,support her insecurities by calling her on a schedule for a bit of time..say every other day at about 9 PM for example...then over time when she becomes accustomed to these calls insert a surprise call from time to time and just tell her you love her...short call but worth every second...

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As you might have guessed, this pavlovian solution does not work. I have tried to make a regular schedule of it only to get lectured on the on days about the off days.

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While communicating with her,,explain to her that you are a grown man and you love her very much but you cannot tolerate her beratement of your chosen partners..It is unfair to you and them..so if she begins any of this you will politely end the call.

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This does not work either. Firstly, whenever I try to explain my point of view to her, even in a calm and caring way, she will immediately tell me to "stop arguing" and "listen to" her (or as has become the norm more recently, that my girlfriend makes me think that way), especially if my point of view is contradictory to her own. Secondly, when presented with such an argument as you have suggested, she will point out examples of sons known to her do behave in a manner in which she is expecting, citing them as the norm.

-Fm