I am so very, very sorry you are in that situation and have been throughout your life. I am poor and it gets to me. So I can understand how that kind of thing can be a huge burden; a crushingly heavy burden.

Since I am poor myself, I am the last person on earth to offer you advice. The only thing that gets me through life is reminding myself that things could be worse. I could be living in a poor country, homeless and going through garbage dumps looking for food everyday.

If I can't get out of the "could be better but isn't better" frame of mind, life would be impossible for me. I have lots of post-its around my house on which is written: "could be worse but isn't worse, thank goodness." Don't know how I could handle poverty with this.

Hopefully people here will see your post and have helpful things to offer you instead of my poor, pathetic words. My heart goes out to you!!!