Gordon...
I can sympathize with you. My wife has bipolar and has had multiple affairs on me over our marriage. Some online and some in real life. It was not until 5 years ago that my wife was diagnosed bipolar. It was very difficult for me and still is to remain with her after these betrayals. Let me give you the comfort that I have found. I believe that when two ppl are truely in love they can beat any obsticle. This does include affairs. I know that it is hard to be the one that puts in all the work and effort and not see anything coming from the other side. I will admit that several times the thought was there to say I deserve better and I do not need to put up with this. It was also during these times that I reminded myself I have my own issues and problems as well, and she has not left me. This was changed last year for a period of 2 months when she did leave me. It was not until that point that I took a serious look at her and our past. I uncovered then that each affair and the actual point in which she left me was during a manic episode. I am not excusing the behaviour, however it does give insight to it.

I believe that if you take a hard look at your wife and use a good understanding of what your wife's disorder is about that you will see a similar pattern in her. I do not know what your religious beliefs are, but please try to remember that there is nothing in life we can not handle and work out. Either through the help of a spirtual diety, friends, family, or a network like this one. I ask that before you leave your wife you will search your heart, your mind, your feelings, and your own self, ensure that you have not been in a wrong place with your marriage thru a fault of your own, and once you have giving everything you have to give for your marriage you find more that you can give to it. It has taken my wife and I almost 11 years of marriage and nearly 6 years of her diagnoised as BiPolar...but we have reached a place in our marriage where now even in a recent diagnosis of DID for me, while it a rocky and shaky time for us, we are assured that we are not going to leave each other and we will make it through any problems.