I've been sat here for an hour now debating what I should do and I'm going round it circles. I'm due my therapy this afternoon but I got sick with a cold in the middle of the night. My therapist has a 24 cancellation policy so if I don't go I have to pay. But she's due for an operation soon and I thought she really might not want me there, so called to say that's what I assumed.

She replied saying that in these cases we would normally do online or telephone but that probably wouldn't work for me so offered to split the bill with me. I pay privately. I replied saying I didn't fancy losing out the money so said I would see how I felt when I woke up and maybe I would still come in.

She said she would rather I not come in, so said she would not charge, but explained that she was losing out then, and reiterated her cancellation policy.

I don't know what to do. It feels awkward. I hate stuff like this. In a way I get the policy, and agree if I just didn't want to go, but I'm sick and she doesn't want me there, that's where I start to think differently.

I don't know whether to accept the no payment, to pay her half anyway, as the decent thing to do, or to try an online session even though I think I might hate it, and risk wasting even more money.

Any suggestions gratefully received. I hoped by typing it all out I might find a way forwards myself but I still feel stuck and I really should be sleeping but I feel I need to reply to her rather than just ignoring her, but I don't know what to say!!