I am glad you pointed that out. I don’t think you are being gossipy either, I think you are just being a nice guy and you are trying to be respectful.

Individuals that have cluster B issues tend to prod and poke in order to get a reaction so they can release their pent up emotions. These individuals are emotionally imbalanced so they learn to manipulate others as a way to release these pent up emotions. These individuals also turn to alcohol as a crutch instead of developing actual healthy skills that actual adults have developed. This is why alcoholism is a very narcissistic disease.

I have had to learn about this as I have mentioned because my husband had problems with alcohol. As I have mentioned before l, I was told by a family therapist that my husband had the maturity level of a 13 year old and I felt lonely for an actual adult partner. Volatile as has been described is a childish meltdown. It’s like that child that has a toxic meltdown in the toy store when he is told no he can’t have that.

Your wife just wants to be a princess party girl. She wanted freedom to party and have YOU pay for it. Manipulators don’t love, they use. THIS never means a person being used isn’t worthy of love. No it’s the people that are disordered that are the ones with the problem. I know you really wanted to believe there was something you could do to fix it, but there just isn’t.

Alcohol abuse disorder has a lot of denial and unpredictable behavior to it. This can leave a partner with trauma symptoms much like what you have described dealing with and so have your children.