Suddenly I am pursuing Mr fun guy more. WTH?!? I don’t know WHY. I’m pretty certain he only wants sex - so why am I trying to make it more? After sleeping together only once so far this go around, yesterday I decided to ask him to go to a concert with me in February - a month away. Naturally he said it would be a last minute decision and couldn’t commit. I feel so stupid.

This week has been horrific . Maybe I’m looking for someone I can text so I don’t feel so alone? It’s truly been a whopper of a week. First my car tire gets a leak, then I’m battling my landlord to get the heat fixed, then both the heat and hot water break in my home, then my debit card got hacked, then the heater in my car broke for a day, then a good friend had to put his beloved sick cat to sleep. To boot, my boss is deliberately avoiding me. And the whole time I’m not smoking and I’m dieting?!?!? Wtf?? This was an insane week. I cannot take anymore.

And I feel so very foolish for pursuing Mr fun guy. I told myself I want him to pursue me. And instead I’m doing the pursuing??? Do guys EVER like that?!?!?

I feel like I’m losing my mind!! I’m reaching out to Mr fun guy like I can’t control my actions. I feel out of control.