My new therapist is incredibly calm and empathetic. He listened to my unconventional life story without criticizing my choices. I would never share such details with anyone else, but for some reason, I trust him. I hope he has the ability to understand everything I’m going through.

Unfortunately, my trip to Germany might get canceled due to debts that my relatives have incurred for the flat. I tried to tell my mother we need to sell it, but it's impossible to talk to your abuser and expect help, she already helps me as much as she can. People can't be persuaded if they don't want to listen, and she will never change.
I asked my sister to talk, but surely she is too young to understand the concept of advanced adult problems (where your parents made your life impossible).
Also, I need to earn credit card debt (I read they won't release me if I have debts in banks that are not paid every month, so I'm trying to pay).
My narcissistic ex promised me to help with debts (he was the reason of the credit card debts), but surely he did it one time and pulled out my whole soul for this. F**k him.

Right now, I’m looking for a job, but it’s challenging because I can’t work officially without a credit card, and all official payments in my city require one. Working from home is also not an option because my cards are blocked.

I have 3.5 dollars for buying water, and that's all. Some food in the fridge for 2-3 weeks. And several new bills for my apartment (thanks god last month I paid all, so this can wait for a little).

I wish I had someone who genuinely cared about me, but for now, this forum is my only outlet. I hope writing all this down will help me think clearly and relieve some of the pressure.