I want to DESTROY EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! fk this body, to hell with any hope at "recovery" to hell with any tiger that's living in the pit of my stomach right now. I hope that dragon gets leprosy. I tell you, a thousands years of PERFECT SYMMETRY. Like they say, 500 hyears in the past, 500 of the future, and I KNOW IT! Except my memory sucks. I don't know anything, so who will tak eon this train wreck? Homicidal ideation is a lot scarier than suicidal. I can consent to having my life taken by myself, someone else can't really. Or they can but it doesn't count because it's like having blackout drunk sex. I want to get drunk sooooooo bad. I just got really tired. But I bet I won't sleep because nightmares and zombies and whispers and bombs and plows and trauma and THIS STUPID PISE OF **** BED!!!!!!!!!