I'm reading about your experiences to see how you're doing. I read about you and felt some relief—at least someone out there is able to make something of their life, have a job, and enjoy skiing. I must admit I'm a little envious, but I'm genuinely happy for you.
I wish I could support you through your challenges, which reminded me of my own experience with cigarette withdrawal.
I had enormous pressure when quit nicotine and made decisions that I shouldn't make ever. Different crazy thoughts were coming, and I couldn't control them.
Starting a new job can also be stressful. Honestly, I don't know of any job that isn't stressful; it's always about balancing stress with effectiveness. Transitioning to a new position is difficult, especially when you've worked so hard to get where you are.
I would advise against making any serious decisions during the withdrawal period. And when we think about something, we trigger it to grow. I believe it's better to focus our energy on other, more urgent matters. If I could go back in time, I would definitely tell myself this.))