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i want to hurt myself. it's been a month or so since i hurt myself last.

i went years w/o doing anything. then i suffered what i guess you'd call a nervous breakdown last summer. i started cutting and burning myself again.

part of me wants to stop. but part of me is glad i'm doing it again. since last summer, i've scarred my arms so badly i have to cover them with long sleeves.

i was in therapy very briefly, but i lost my job and lost my insurance. so i couldn't afford to continue.

i had been focussed on finding a job while i was on unemployment. then an elderly family member became sick and i helped care for her. she died last month.

now i'm depressed, anxious, unemployed & running out of money.

just not sure what to do next...where to turn...

btw, is there anyone reading this who understands what a D/s relationship is? this adds to my suffering because i've been told not to hurt myself. </font>