I've been dating this woman for 2 years. We're middle aged. She has two kids living with her, one just turned 19 going to college and the other is 15. We live separately, but spend a lot of time together, mostly at her house because of the kids.

This have been really good. We talk all the time. We spends lots of time together, never tiring of each other. We go out together. I've included her in my family events, events with friends.We just concluded a trip of a life time with no issues. I've made her a part of my life.

The discussions about combining households have been up to this point that she is going to wait for her kids to leave the house. This is what I've set my expectations. So, there's a lot of travel for me back and forth from my house to hers as well as me helping my elderly mother with her own living situation and some maintenance on her house.


So, at the height of the recent winter storm we received 3 inches of snow, something my area hasn't seen in 40 years. I decided I was going to stay at my mother's while the storm was raging in case something happened and she would need help since it was unlikely that I would be able to readily travel on the roads to get to her. I thought this was reasonable. My girlfriend however, had reservations, but she seemed to accept it at the time, however I could tell there were reservations in her expression, though she didn't say anything.

Forward to the storm is over. The snow and ice are melting, I call up my girlfriend to ask if I can come over and she tells me she needs a couple of days to think and will talk about it then. Couple of days pass. I go over, spend the night and while in bed we're talking about the situation.


She was upset that I chose to stay with my mother instead of her. I explained why and mentioned she has an adult son and almost adult son living over there and me staying meant my mother would have to face the storm and potential problems, alone. My mother and I have no other family here, so, it was important to me to be there for her safety.

My girlfriend then explains that "when a woman invites you into her bed, not just for a one night stand, she wants you there every night".Then she begins to cry and say that's she's scared I'm going to break her heart. I've no idea where this is coming from. I consoled her that it wasn't the case, that I loved her. I cuddled with her and that seemed to comfort her.


We did talk a little more and I told her that me being there every night means she's moving me into her house ahead of her own schedule. I've not prepared for it, nor did I expect it so soon. And it's hard for me to be at my place, my mother's place and have to pack up twice a day and travel 30 minutes each way. So, I've told her that it would alleviate some of my time, costs and hassles of traveling back and forth every day when I'm not at her house. We've had a routine and that routine has been when her youngest is at his father's for a week custody I have been staying at my GF's house. When her youngest is back I've been staying at my places for a few days to take care of stuff and we assume more of a dating series of activities.


So, I'm not sure what the best course of action is. Now I'm on egg shells because I don't know what is going on. She's not eluding to anything more. I don't know if me not staying over there a single night is going to set her off.But, the two day pause felt penalizing, unilateral and the reasoning guarded on her part. Meanwhile, I try to keep discussions open.