Hi, PigMom, welcome to My Support Forums.

I was wondering if, when you say you "lie", you might actually mean something more like that book title, "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me". If you were to tell someone either half of that, like "I hate you", they might get distracted and not be in a place where they could also pick up on the "Don't leave me" part. Or the other way around.

I don't know if you'd find it too technical or anything, but Marsha Linehan talks a lot about dialectics (acknowledging both halves of the truth at the same time) in her book Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder.