@Moose72, sorry you're going through all that. I hope the biopsy goes well for you!
@Blitter2014 I have a history with Lamictal, it was likely the cause of extreme pain and other symptoms years ago. I stopped it really quickly, over 2 weeks, and everything resolved quickly after that, including better LFT results. I started it again recently because it was required for a psylocibin trial that I'm waiting for, but it looks like that's out now.
@Blueberrybook, thank you so much for your concern. Yeah, being depressed for so long is really hard. It has been years.

My pdoc basically said I've gone through a lot of meds and that I'm almost at the end of the road. I think the only thing I haven't tried is MAOIs.

They had accepted me into ECT so I can just request that and they'll schedule me. But I want to find out what things are like off of meds. My pdoc will monitor me and so will my therapist. If I go lower than I am now, I'll likely request ECT. But one step at a time.

I don't know how, but I'm hanging on. I don't question why that happens, it's just fortunate that it does.